Bangkok Shopping: Bags of Bluntness

Bangkok is a great city and the people- for the most part- are wonderful. But *beware* they are honest, and not the good kind of honest (hence the warning.) Maybe honest isn’t the right word. Blunt. Yes that’s the word. Blunt. Brutally so. Shopping is definitely one thing that highlights this brutal ‘honesty’.

I love shopping. Fashion is my thing. I like to have my own style and I revel in the shopping experience. Thailand, however, has changed that.

The dread that creeps in when my wardrobe needs a sprucing up is now too familiar…Heaven forbid I need a new pair of shoes!

I’m a size 10…just about. And 5 foot 7 and a 1/2 inches tall. My feet? A size 7, so all in all I’m in proportion. In the Western World I feel comfortable with that, and feel confident shopping for my size. How do I feel when shopping in Thailand? Like an oversized green giant with whale fin feet to match!

As this green giant waddles into a shop, more often than not I turn right back on my heels as I am greeted with shouts of: “No have big size”, “We have big size!” and most irritating of all, “Look stretch!” As I’m staring at the widest pair of trousers I have ever seen sprawling from arm to arm of this matchstick sales woman I shake my head and sigh: clearly she’d rather hand out an insult than have me hand her my money.

I know what you’re thinking, “Poor self conscious girl, unable to carry out her shopping excursion.” Maybe once. Maybe once I hung my head and stared down at my fictional green giant, whale finned body; maybe once I apologised for the intrusion into a shop that was clearly not meant for ‘people like me’; maybe once I thought I should take that trip to the ladyboy shop for my obese feet. Maybe once. But those days are long gone.

No longer do I shy away from these comments, or make excuses that I’m looking in this shop for my much younger, much thinner, small footed, make-believe sister. Now? Now I wear my thick skin, laugh at their ignorance, and walk out of the shop with that tight, sequenced dress that I hope fits me one day.

Thailand: The Nitty Gritty

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: I love Thailand. I love living here. However, there are some things about this wonderful country that I’ll never get used to, be it good, bad or just plain ugly.

1. Men’s long finger nails, primarily on the baby finger: I’ve since learned that this is used as a ‘tool’ of sorts to unscrew things or to scratch one’s ear. But to me there are cotton buds and screw drivers so please use these instead!

2. Dogs that look dead sleeping almost everywhere: Again I love dogs but I don’t want to run one over…which is a danger as they sprawl across the road unaware (and seemingly uncaring) of their impending death.

3. Taxi men refusing fares: I definitely confused taxi men when I went home to Ireland for Christmas as I asked them would they take me to my desired destination. They cocked their heads to the side and laughed a ‘don’t you know how taxis work’ laugh. I hung my head apologetically as I remembered that taxi men at home went where you wanted them to go, no ‘pai dai mai?’ (CAN you go) necessary, as is the case in Thailand.

4. Whitening cream: I say cream but it’s cream, powder, deodorant…whatever whitening can get in…it’s in!

5: Babies and children on motorbikes…without helmets! If you must put them on one at least make sure they’re wearing a helmet!

6: Nose picking: children and adults alike! It’s nasty so please don’t do it in public.

7: Transportation for tourists: those night buses could easily be cut down in time…if you stopped insisting on ferrying us from cafe to cafe and just GOT US TO OUR DESIRED DESTINATION!

8: Fitting four or more on a motorbike: not disgusted, but impressed.

9: Random pictures: I’ve been asked many a time if I could have my photo taken, or I’ve simply caught sight of a sneaky photo being taken. At first this perplexed me, that is until one wise friend (who’d been living here for a year longer than me) informed me that this was normal, that I needed to “just go with it.” Embracing the advised “just go with it” has led to me being in family photos, from beach to graduation!

10: Patterns: I know mixing patterns is fashionable but I don’t think the rule applies to floral shirt with cartoon pants!

11: Shop greetings: I like shopping. Wait. I LOVE shopping. However, the thrill for me is slightly (totally) numbed when I am greeted, not with a smile and a welcome, but with a shriek of “We have big size”, “Look stretch!” What a way to kill one’s ego, and needlessly lose a customer!

Most of the above are trivial things (apart from putting white on a pedestal and the helmetless infants) so I can put up with them, nothing a healthy dose of ranting can’t cure! You have been warned so look out for (and avoid) the long-finger-nailed-nose- picker!